Everyone that knows me well will surely be aware by now that I probably, in fact, suffer from many anxiety disorders. I have Social Anxiety, which I am slowly leaning to cope with, and I also have Generalised Anxiety, Anticipation Anxiety and a few minor OCD tenancies.
In all honestly, I never had any professional help, not even a diagnosis; yet its still obvious that the listed above were the roots of the many problems I have to face such as anticipation worry, social nerves, depression from workplace bullying and giving TOO much of a **** about anything and everything that goes on around me. I proved to myself many, many times that its all in my head but still getting my mind off such things are not quite this easy.I always thought that as a constant worrier maybe that would be the path to gaining more endurance to handle such negative thoughts. I always do manage to get back on my feet eventually but lately I have noticed that should be the last thing I should worry about since what is more of a problem is how I tackle worry on foot. It wasn't until I started working that I realised how many problems this could lead to. In fact, most of my worries until that point were more dwelling into my thoughts rather that coping with stressful situations on the spot and coming up with a solution immediately. Depression and anxiety does far more harm than good, and just sitting around behind the computer all day wouldn't help all that much so something needs to be done.
I was toying with the thoughts for years to whether to see a doctor or not as I don't want to keep handling all of this for the rest of my life. I spent a few days Googling solutions to try and beat my stress levels as I don't want to be on anti-depressants (I can't stomach tablets well and I like to enjoy drinking alcohol). I found out that exercise turned out to be one of the best solutions for it.
The problem is, although I am not afraid of moving and I can spend quality time away from the laptop, is that I am very, very unfit. My PE lessons at school got it into my head that because I was a really, really fast developer in my late childhood/late teens that having curves is not practical at all on the sports field and its true when people say it hurts running around with quite a colossal sized chest. I never considered myself to be fat but I have always been a little chubby in places.
About a decade later, although I still lack stamina and flexibility, I am starting to think that maybe I shouldn't compare myself to others in terms of physical endurance but try to become more active to enjoy the many other benefits such as stronger bones, improved cardiovascular health, faster metabolism, improved thinking and a depression/anxiety beater. Oh, and sports bras really do make a difference in performance!
On New Years day I just on a whim decided to go on a gentle jog around the block. Nothing intense, just wanted to test the waters. I noticed although it did hurt a bit at the time I felt better shortly after. I jogged again tonight and been asking around for tips to improve my endurance when I was done and found out all that jogging requires is some perseverance and some weight training would help too. I want to lose a bit of body fat. Maybe I should make it into a habit, now the new year has begun.KitaCon has a group called Fita4Kita that is designed for the congoers that wish to improve on their overall health. Cosplay seems to be a common drive for a healthier lifestyle and looking at their Facebook page is very inspirational and full of help. I have been working on my make-up skills for the past year and that alone gave me a esteem boost so
I have a number of cosplays for the year that will be mostly made out of spandex, including Rock Lee. I dont want my weight to be the deciding factor for who to cosplay. Now is a good time to stop worrying and start doing something about it!
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